What, how, when and why.

Had a fantastic weekend in Sunderland.

How do I feel right now?
Tense!

Why?
It's Monday and I'm back at work.

How should I feel?
Not tense.

What should I do about it?
Something! Anything!

How?
Get things into perspective and breathe deeply.

When?
NOW, you idiot!

Don't call me an idiot...it just makes me feel worse.
Okay, sorry!

Being entertained

 Pleased that I'm making and taking time to read.

Makes me feel lucky never to have experienced the things they did other than love, patriotism, sacrifice and  empathy. Who am I kidding? I identified with hero and villain if truth be told. Slow to begin with but definitely worth the read, even though that empty feeling usually present at the conclusion of a good book was missing.

Books recommended to me...

The book thief

The Guernsey literary and potato peel pie society

A short history of everything

Longitude

The perfect storm...if it's anything like the film, I may not bother.

The shipping news

Go on... add to the list and give reasons why you rate it worthy of a read?

I watched something last week on TV i-player that I enjoyed immensely. I saw the very first episode of Coronation Street in 1960 and remembered it vividly even though I haven't seen the programme for over thirty years. What I watched was a drama of how it came about. Loved it! Really loved it! Warren was spot on with those early characters. It evoked so many black and white memories.

Who's on my mind? Dot, the followed (on the right) and the owner of Ryanair. One of them  a high-flyer who is planely irritating me.

Thanks Helen

A photo taken for me by Helen Flinn Cryer a few weeks ago...

It's for our floor to ceiling wardrobe in France. I saw the wardrobe complete with a similar photo in Ikea Nottingham and fell in love with it. It is sold without the image of the Eiffel Tower however, which is why Helen took the photo...several photos actually.

When I'm next in Ikea I'll take a photo of the wardrobe and place it underneath this photo so you will see how cool an idea it is.

Thanks again for such brilliant photos Helen.

On reflection

I've been reflecting (whilst shaving) on if I am better off being left alone rather than confronted, prodded, poked or challenged.

They fascinate , frustrate, disappoint, inspire, please and disgust me. I love 'em and hate 'em too. Nowt so funny as folk eh?

I don't mind kind words, praise, adulation or being the recipient of unexpected gifts or kindnesses, but  they can't go on forever and must inevitably give way to a bit of grey.

Yesterday (and the day before) I felt front-line, dull, bruised, tender, fragile and under attack just at a time when I want to be cocooned, fresh and impregnable. When I'm rained on I want to feel dry, comfortable and stronger than tissue paper.

Perhaps it's because I'm just back from holiday and need to get into the rhythm of things.

I found 1,230 emails in the inbox on my return, along with new processes, a new team, team leader, location and expanded responsibilities. The bubble had burst. It was raining hard and I preferred the being left alone option.

On the bright side, I had a decent break from it all and feel considerably better this morning as I confront the man in the mirror.

Hope you had a good birthday yesterday Amber.

Welcome to Paul C...I hope you enjoy dropping by from time to time. Oh my goodness, a retired high school English teacher! I'm afraid you'll have to turn a blind eye to my English.

Also welcome to Val Daggatt. I've just noticed your silhouette Val but can't locate you on blogger.

Looking forward to visiting you all.

Oh, I almost forgot to conclude...

Am I better off being alone, protected and cocooned?

No!

Welcome break

All of a sudden I'm told I can use an iPod while working.

Mon, Tues and Wednesday I listened to over 300 songs and talks and, if anything, my workload increased and the time flew by. I now have two lanes and life just got better.

So here I am at last...no more work for 3 weeks. I'm off to France today. Everything is packed. I'm ready! I fly 8pm.

Jobs to do today...
Into town for a pair of decent in-ear headphones (Done)
Trim the creeper (Done)
Put blind track up in MIL living room (Done)
Charge camera batteries (Done)
Paint (updated my paintings blog instead)
Fill the hole in the landing ceiling (Done)
Tidy the area around the computer (Done)
Chill (Still doing it)

Jobs to do in France...starting tomorrow...

• Finish the landing wooden tops (and the main bedroom one)
• Build an internal wood store
• Finish the fireplace canopy
• Fit a lock to the living room / kitchen door
• Prepare ground and sow grass seed
• Order the materials for the store
• Lay a concrete base for the store
• Build the outside store (this is the main job)
• Work some more on the patio
• Finish the guttering
• Perhaps dig another soak-away
• Paint various areas inside and out
• Weed the front and lay gravel
• Have fun...windsurfing / rides / walks
• Have more fun...and even more fun.

Bev arrives next Sunday, so I'm planning to work hard until she arrives, then 1/2 pace and decreasing for two weeks.

That's the plan anyway, but you know what they say about plans.

I now sign off for three weeks with a smile.

Stung

Saturday threatened rain so I headed for the loft (one of my 2010 goals is to board the loft).

The sun came out, so I abandoned the loft and placed the bags of pampas clippings in the sun to dry out. When dry, we stuffed the bags into the car and headed for the tip. Then to my brother for a visit. Then shopping for curtains, bathroom ideas and a new pair of jeans. I'm fed up with the cheap baggy jeans and decided to push the boat out on a pair of Ben Shermans.

On the way back, we picked up a DVD (The Greatest...Pierce Brosnan, Susan Sarandon and Carey Mulligan) along with popcorn, KFC and vanilla fudge and enjoyed the rest of the evening being totally selfish.

Now you see them ...plus a third bag. Just look at that rampant creeper.

Now you don't...just need to cut the grass now.

I'm such a hypocrite! I promised myself that I'd never eat KFC after discovering how it ends up on our plate. It tasted really nice, but I think I'll try my best to avoid it...unless I'm really, really hungry and too lazy to make something.

Downside...as I lifted the bag of clippings into the container, I was stung by a wasp. How ridiculous I must have looked with my arms in the air and shrieking. It's the second time I've been stung that I can recall and it isn't nice.

Actually, I was stung twice...once by the wasp and the other by the cost of KFC.

It's Sunday now and I feel very happy. I enjoyed the lesson about proverbs and the characteristics of the church Christ set up originally.

We are back home now and the weather is good enough to sit in the garden for lunch and a walk after it.

The worst part of last week...having to go to work.
The best part of last week...having a job that affords me luxuries from time to time.

I'm thinking I should make the most of having a job because I could easily lose it.

Stop spending and get back to simple ways. The simple ways are always best.

Eyes wide open

Whilst reading willow's poetry my thoughts veered at a tangent and lingered on some recent news.

The news was of a young lady (in her 20's) victimised and beaten by her Mother and lodger within one mile of where I now sit. Introverted and fearful she would exist from day to day, year after year. No love, warmth, friendship or hope.

Whatever she earned had to be handed over for her keep. Such has been her life's experience and experience has shown her that it was her lot in life. Attempts to escape had ended painfully.

Then one day she found a full-time job with friendly staff who became close enough for her to eventually share her heartache.

The eyes; windows of the soul, are now bright and brimming with tears of joy. Warmth and hope replace chill and despair. Excitement borne of victory replaces resignation and defeat.

She has saved sufficient to move into her own place and enjoys strong active and lasting support sufficient to ensure it happens without resistance.

This is the superb line from the poem entitled ethos (Tuesday 13th July) that set me thinking of this injustice that thankfully turned to joy...

I cannot trifle with those
who refuse to taste life.

I changed willow's words...

I cannot trifle with those
who with eyes wide open bruise the soul.

Aren't friends good!